Mediation in a family law context refers to a process in which a neutral third party, known as a mediator, helps you and the other party resolve your family law dispute.
Mediation can be used to resolve a variety of family law issues, including child custody and visitation, child support, spousal support, property division, and divorce. The mediator does not make decisions for you, but rather facilitates discussion and negotiation between both of you to help you come to a mutually acceptable agreement.
Mediation is generally considered a more flexible and cost-effective alternative to going to court, as it allows you and the other side to have more control over the outcome of your dispute and can help to preserve family relationships. It can also be less stressful and less time-consuming than going through the court process.
While mediation is not always successful, it can be a useful tool for families who are willing to work together to find a solution to their issues.
There are several ways ways in which I can help in the mediation process. The first is through being your consulting attorney while you and the other side mediate with a mediator (typically a lawyer or mediating service company). I will help you ask the right questions and receive proper answers during the mediation process, while helping guide you to a final settlement.
Second, I can represent you in a mediation. Generally, that would involve retaining me as your attorney to resolve your family law issue. In so doing, we would agree with the other side to hire a mediator (generally a retired judge or reputable attorney) for a half day or full day. During that period, the mediator will typically shuttle back and forth to each side with the goal of bridging the settlement gaps. My role is to persuade the mediator to persuade the other side to compromise in a manner that achieves your goals.
Finally, I can mediate family law issues between you and the other party(ies). My mediation style is different than the standard “shuttling” technique that most mediators utilize. Instead, I prefer to have all parties (including attorneys if they are involved) to be in the same room while the issues are discussed openly.
Why do I prefer to do it that way? Because I believe it is important for each side to understand the other’s perspectives and legal theories. Very often, parties lack understanding of what the other side’s true intentions are and believe each action the other side takes is intended malevolently while at the same time we view our own actions benevolently. As you might imagine, if both sides view their own actions positively but the other side’s action negatively, that can create great distrust. Being in the same room to hear and learn directly from the other side’s perspective—without being filtered by a mediator—can lead to breakthroughs where none seemed to exist when everyone was not in the same room.
A great deal of my preferred mediation methodology derives from the book, Challenging Conflict: Mediation Through Understanding. The authors are Gary Friedman and Jack Himmelstein. The principles described in the book match my learned experience in the legal realm during the past 15 years. Put simply, far more is accomplished when people get together to resolve their disputes than when they remain separated.
